The one with Tracy… “I love to sing”

PODCAST TRANSCRIPT

Kendra
Hello.

Tracey
Hi, friend. How are you? I’m great. How are you? Good. I just finished a riveting game of battleship.

Oh, did you win?

I did!

Kendra

It was really an epic battle

Kendra
Because of the time we’re in right now, I’d love to talk about, like, what you’re doing and what your plan is moving forward, coming out of this. So do you want to talk a little bit about your origin story or,

Tracey
I mean, the journey is pretty all over the place. So I’ll start wherever you want me to start.

Kendra
Okay, so yeah, why don’t you tell me how you got into acting and like, what was that first? memory you have of like, Oh, this is something I want to do?

Tracey
Well, my parents took me to my first Broadway show when I was five years old.

Kendra
And it was the adaptation of the King and I with Yul Brynner. Because He was still alive. It was his final pour. And I, I had seen the movie and loved it. And I could not believe that the same person that was in the movie that I had seen was on that stage. Yeah, that concept that this person jumped out of the TV and was on the stage in front of me. I remember that so well. But what I remember most about that experience was Yul Brynner’s curtain call. Because his he had quite an original curtain call, he would bow to the audience then bow to the cast and bow to the audience, then bow to the cast. And I remember thinking in my head, wow, this man must be really important, because people just keep clapping for him. And I was floored by how one person could make a difference to an entire theater of people and I was excited, as excited as everybody else. And then Man really stuck with me. And I so my parents realized that I really loved going to see shows. So I was lucky enough we live in New York. So I, my obsession with seeing Broadway shows from a very young age. I was the kid that wore the Broadway t-shirts to school every day, I would count down the days until the next time I got to see a show. And when I saw the Phantom of the Opera, it was the first time I sat in the audience and said, wait, I want to do this. I want to be so that led me to decide I wanted to take voice lessons and go in a much more classical based direction because. Once I saw Phantom of the Opera, then I learned what opera really was and was obsessed as a 15-year-old 14-year-old listening to opera. So I went to college and became an opera major.

Kendra
Yep. I didn’t know that was I mean, I assume that was a thing. But

Tracy
yeah, I was a double major in opera performance and music education. Because my dad told me I needed something to fall back on. Let me just change the teaching is not a thing that you fall back on teaching is one of the hardest Careers Out There. And I give so much credit to teachers in the public schools and the private schools. Yeah, the world.

Kendra
Only just now do I really have an idea of how hard they work.

Tracy
I mean, I think parents have a new appreciation for a hundred percent for what teachers do. But I, my dad wanted me to have that career to fall back on and I knew from the start, this is not a career. I fall back on performing is me. This is what I need in my life. I had teachers in college, my senior year. Tell me that I didn’t have what it took to perform. They said my voice was too small. It didn’t match my look. And I, I shouldn’t go to grad school because I would not make it as an opera singer.

Kendra
Wow. So they told you that in college? Yeah.

Tracy

I let those voices kind of pack a unpack a suitcase in my head. And I really took to heart that, you know, maybe I am not meant to perform. Maybe I am just meant to have this as a hobby. And it wasn’t until about 10 years later when I had one of my teachers joy tepid Dino, one of the biggest influences on my life. She said, No, no, we’ve got to unpack that baggage. You are a performer you can do this. And she helped me let go of those things. Negative voices.

Kendra
I’m sure that was devastating to hear. But do you think it made you work harder and become even a better singer? I like looking

Tracy

Yeah, looking back now, it took a while to get brave enough to find my real voice. Because I was told I had this small, small voice for so many years. I just sang with a small voice. That’s what I thought I had until I went to joy. And she said, Oh, no, no, you have a huge voice. It’s in there. Nobody had the knowledge to uncover

Tracy

So she and I started working with her and I found I found my authentic voice. And let me tell you, I’m pretty loud.

Kendra
I’ve heard you on it. Well, I’ve heard you live a couple of times. But I’ve heard you on Facebook and in what you’re putting out there, right is every time I’ve ever heard you, which is angelic, it’s beautiful and so authentic. And so, I mean, so heartfelt.

Tracey
Thank you so much.

Tracy

When one of my jobs right now is is a church singer, I saw it emerge in Queens. And I really do try and make people hear those songs. You know you hear the same songs in the Catholic Church 400,000 times if you’ve gone from when you were a little kid. Yeah, we both have and I want people to hear the songs as if it’s the first time and really get into the words and maybe listen to it in a new way. So I try and sing the songs differently every time because I think its music is such an important part to incorporate into life, including into your spiritual life. And I really take that responsibility seriously and that’s why for during this time pandemic I’ve been putting out church recordings. Just that’s where music is such a place of peace.

Kendra
So is it’s the only thing that I feel joy right now. I mean, obviously playing with my kids and spending time with my family. But really the thing that has been able to consistently make me feel better is listening to what all these musical artists are, are sharing right now. Because it’s, I don’t know, it just speaks to my soul in a different way and makes me feel so much better that there is hope and so like kudos, because, you know, sharing what you’re, you’re sharing is definitely it’s it makes a difference.

Tracy
Well, thank you and I’m proud to be a part of that group of artists that is doing what they can to put hope out in the world right now. When you smell things like this happen in the world, the thing that comes out first is the art. You own Again, you always see the creative people wanting to come out and do something to make people remember their emotions and remember how to feel and maybe ground you a little bit with a familiar tune. Or my, you know, do a painting that evokes an emotion that reminds you of your childhood, something I mean, art, art can get to the depths of our soul like nothing else can. And artists are the first people to say, Wait, I can help.

Kendra
Yeah, I see that I see. I mean, and pretty much across the board, especially the acting community. musicians, too, are all out of business. You’re all out of work right now. But you’re the first group to stand up and say like, Hey, wait a minute. We’re gonna help. Yeah, it’s just amazing.

Tracey
We’re all unemployed, every single one of us.
But the cool thing is, is people are getting really creative about it, too. Last night, I actually did. A recording for all of Long Island theater My friend is putting together a recording of one day more from lame is with Alan playing the parts and ensemble members and he’s everybody’s recording it in their house. He’s piecing it all together. And it’s all familiar names on the Long Island theater scene. These are the things that are happening and he’s not getting paid to do this. He’s doing it just so we can all stay connected to each other, and then put it out in the world and be like, Hey, you know, all these people. Look what we did. There’s this, I hope this makes you feel better.

Kendra
Yeah, I mean, from a business standpoint, you know, it is a time to be really creative about marketing yourself. And I think things like that not only do they inspire and help, but then also it’s a unique time to kind of showcase like, Hey, this is what I have to offer. So when we come out of this, you not only have like a beautiful, loyal audience, but you know what? When the work comes back, then you also have these people coming to see you in real life.

Tracy
And that’s exactly what’s happening. Another there’s a musical director on Long Island that I just talked to yesterday, who’s putting together kind of a long island theater Tonight Show kind of thing, where he’ll do interviews with us. And I’m going to be one of the first guests so I’m very excited. And I’ll, I’ll definitely be posting about that on Facebook, and so will he, but where we’re basically going to be doing interviews and then doing songs and then if, in the future when this pandemic is over, he’ll be continuing it in his living room. So if one of us is doing a show, we can come on and promote it.

Tracey
It’s so exciting.

Kendra
Yeah, you know, my background is in branding and personal branding is something that is really close to my heart, and that’s what I’ve been advising anybody to do right now is, you know, anyone that’s selling is not going to really resonate with this audience in this time period. But anyone who’s putting themselves forward and really showing like, Hey, this is who I am, this is what I have to offer. You know and just giving back in a really authentic way. I think everybody that’s doing that is going to come out on top when this is all over.

Unknown Speaker
Yeah, I’ve had some really fascinating conversations I’m currently quarantined with my parents, Upstate. Not even on Long Island. I’m at a beautiful lake house. And but we’ve had some fascinating conversations about the types of personalities who are going to come out on the other side of this stronger people and the types of personalities that are struggling. And honestly, it’s the personality that is doing well as somebody who thrives a little under pressure, who is creative and can find other ways to find fulfillment in their lives, isn’t defined by going to the job every day isn’t defined by The people they talk to has, their soul resonates with themselves, though they are the people you find, finding the creative ways to get through, and it’s, I’m so glad to be with my parents right now and have the time that I’m, I have these wonderful conversations and debates and just taking walks every day. I’m never gonna forget this beautiful time that I have with them in this scary world. You know, I’m not blind to the fact that this is a very scary time for everybody. But if I don’t make the most of it, and I’m not going to be okay when we get out of this.

Kendra
That’s the conversation I’ve had with a lot of people it’s, it’s, you know, respecting the time and all the people that have experienced loss or sickness, but at the same time, like the kind of amazing gift of being able to just stop and be with the people you really love. I mean, luckily, I’m home with my kids and my husband. And it’s been really amazing to kind of get to know them even better like you would think I’ve raised them. I live with my husband like we all know each other pretty well. But it’s been very eye-opening the things that I don’t know. Oh, I’m just like a senior. I would imagine being with your parents to like, what a unique opportunity to kind of have these conversations about so much stuff between like your genealogy and your history and their memories and getting to know them as people.

Unknown Speaker
I mean, I’ve always been close with my parents, you, you know, Oh, boy. We just grew up in this in that parish of very close families. It’s a beautiful thing. I knew my parents pretty well, but I’m just, I’m learning so much about who they are as humans, not just as my mom, my dad. And I think your kids are more likely to look back on this time as something they cherish the time they got to spend with you and get to know you as a human, not just their mom.

Tracey
like the time when I beat you in battleship, that’s what it’s gonna be. Yeah.

Kendra
Yes, that’s true.

Tracey
The cool thing that I’m getting to do is I also teach piano and voice lessons privately. One-on-one. I knew I was never meant to be a classroom teacher. I don’t, I don’t have that stamina. Oh my goodness. And I knew I always wanted to perform. That was my number one priority. But I own my own business teaching piano and voice lessons. So I’ve gone completely remote and online with my teaching, and I was scared out of my mind to do it at first and it has become such a joy during this time, I’m teaching about 20 lessons a week at this point. And I’m getting to come into the kids’ homes, you know, on a computer screen, but I’m able to just be another face for them to see we do our piano lessons or voice lessons, even some trumpet lessons. And but every time I check-in and say, What quarantine adventures are you having? What was the most exciting thing that you did this week, and I’m trying to let them know that this could be a time of adventure, but also if they need to talk about their feelings or if they’re overwhelmed or you know, they’re scared. I’ve had such real conversations with my students because they trust me, and they can, they can talk to me during this and I and I make sure to ask them how they’re doing and if they’re okay and check it out. with them and just be another voice too, you know, to check in with them and, and then we make some music. And then we acknowledge at the end of the lesson how making music together can just make everything better for a half hour.

Kendra
Right, You forget about what’s going on. Yeah. And

Tracey
I’ve had so much more success than I thought I would. So I’m very proud of myself.

Kendra
Yeah, I think the businesses that I’m seeing do really well right now are the ones that are able to kind of pivot and, you know, how can I sustain and how can I even maybe grow during this time? And I think that’s, that’s been interesting to watch. But, um, tell me, what, what is. So you said voice, piano. What is the age range that you’re teaching?

Tracey
Um, my youngest student is five. And my oldest student right now is 64.

It ranges, but most of them are, I would say between like eight and 16. Okay, have you gone through the process of having a student like start their theatrical career yet? Have you done any of that kind of guidance or absolutely and that is so rewarding. I have a couple of students I a lot of my students do show that theater three now and sit in the audience and see them up there and shining and developing this life of creativity. I have one student, in particular, I’ve known her since she was five and She now works for the theater permanently. And I was the one I took her to see A Christmas Carol when she was younger. And she said someday I want to be up there like one of those kids and I say Okay, well, let’s make that the goal this year. And we worked on it the next year, she auditioned and she was up there.

Kendra
Oh my gosh, I must be amazing.

Unknown Speaker
What a feeling. You know what she, in the end, the students are the ones that do all the work. She saw what she wanted. And we made a goal. And we talked about what it takes to achieve goals. And she did it. And yeah, I mean, it’s one of those moments as a teacher. I couldn’t stop crying when she was bowing up on stage. I was just so proud. You live for your kids. You know, they’re my kids. I don’t have children of my own. I have my students. Yeah.

Kendra
That’s such an incredible journey. So, you know, watching these kids go through their journey. What was your journey? Like? I mean, you kind of said, your steps, but, you know, the audition process, and when did you start actually auditioning for shows and what the heck is that like?

Tracy
Every time I put an audition, I ‘m like, why do I do this to myself? This is horrible. Um, auditioning is not easy. I’ll tell you the story of the audition because I think it’s hilarious. So I was it was the summer before sixth grade. There used to be a community theater program in Shoreham. And I wanted to audit. Yeah, it was actually a really big program. And that’s, that’s where I did my first shows. It was a lot of fun. And it was like summer camp. So I wanted to do this show so badly. It was a show called we like it hear about a brother and sister alien, dumbest show that has ever lived, but I wanted to be in. So my brother and I are only 16 months apart. So he kind of had to tag along wherever I went, and vice versa, you know, so my mom could wipe us. So I go in an audition and they see my brother sitting there and of course, it’s theater so there are not enough guys These summer before fifth grade for him, and they come and they beg him to audition, beg him, beg him to beg him and finally He’s like, Alright, he goes in. He gets the lead. And I got the ensemble. Oh was devastated. I was devastated. But so the first rehearsal comes and I’m like, my mom had given me the talk, you have to go and you have to have, you know, your happy face and do your best so they could see how hard you work. And next year, maybe you’ll get a lead. And I was like, Okay, I’m going to go and I’m going to do everything I can. Turns out the girl who got the female lead, took a look at the script and decided there were way too many lines. So that they came up to me brought me out of the rehearsal and said, we’ve realized that it might be really cool to have a real brother and sister, play the brother and sister aliens who you play the lead. Also, because of my brother, who doesn’t even like theater, I got to play the first part that I love anyway. And then on opening night, I had the first show of the first line of the show. The curtain opens I see the audience and I freeze. I got so scared. My brother had to come to whisper my line into my ear go back to his place and then the show could start and then I was fun after that. But my brother saved me and he is like my theater guardian angel. He led the way

Kendra
that’s so cute. Wow. And what a cool experience that you guys got, yeah,

Tracy
years we did shows together and then he decided that he didn’t like it at all and never liked it and just like to hang out with all the kids.

Tracey
So yeah, but yeah, that was the beginning of my journey.

Kendra
And then where do you go from there? I mean, you obviously probably tried to get everything you could ever experience you could. How does? I guess my point is like if somebody is interested in becoming an actress or an actor, what is what do you recommend? I mean, do they try everything? It depends.

Tracy
Honestly, everybody’s journey is different. And everybody can handle different things. auditioning hard, auditioning as a kid is harder. You have to have really thick skin. There’s a ton of rejection in this business. So I’m very careful when I have little students who want to do this as a career. I just you know, I don’t tell them not to do it. But I let them know it’s going to be hard and you can’t take Anything personally. But the best thing to do is absolutely like you said, Do everything you can. And that includes work on stage crew, help with costumes, understand the jobs that other jobs that are done in theater, because the more you understand about how much work goes into a show from all aspects, the more you respect to what you get to do, and don’t take it for granted. There are so many people that go into making that show happen, and you better learn everybody’s name and treat them with respect. Yeah. Now, where did you go to school I went to the Korean School of Music at SUNY Potsdam, which is an amazing program and really hard. It’s the hardest I’ve ever worked in my entire life.

Tracey
So that’s the New York where there was nothing to do but either do music or tip cows.

Kendra
And I mean, did you have I know, I had ideas in my head about where I would be working after I got out of school. And what was your vision?

Tracy
Um, in the beginning, I thought I was going to be this crazy opera singer that just traveled all over the world. Um, as time went on, and I was basically told I didn’t have it in me. I wanted Broadway. And I don’t for a second say, Broadway is underneath Opera in any way. It’s just a different regimen. It’s a different field. It’s a different sound. It’s a different genre. When I knew and on Broadway, they used microphones and an opera they didn’t so if I had this small voice, then maybe I could try more musical theater. Right? Yeah, better Exactly. Turns out Have a pretty big voice. I don’t need micro. But um, so I decided that I wanted to go more towards the musical theater. And luckily, Long Island has a brilliant blossoming musical theater scene. I mean, at this point, there are probably too many theaters. But there’s always been theaters to just build myself up. I started in ensemble roles. The first show I did on Long Island was West Side Story. And I was a shark girl and I sang the summer solo, and I was just so happy to be there. And I just started playing ensemble roles in different theaters and then I made more of a name for myself. And then I started playing Leeds, and I’ve been lucky enough to be performing on Long Island for, I guess, over 20 years at this point. And I’ve just had such amazing experiences. I’ve had bigger auditions. I’ve had some pretty huge auditions brought auditions Asian tour auditions European tour auditions I just haven’t quite gotten there. That does not mean I’m going to start trying. I’m still fired up about it. I still go on auditions as much as I can. And that goal is not gone.

Kendra
Yeah. What’s the difference between you know, getting a, getting a part in a touring group versus like, being, let’s say on Broadway,

Tracy
um, there, there’s a lot of different factors that go into it. Broadway shows are, you know, everybody is a union performer. It’s called the actor’s equity. Everybody. Basically, you just stay in that theater for as long as that show runs. Then what happens is a first national tour comes out, and that’s usually all equity performers as well, and it tours out to the major theatres in Chicago. San Francisco, DC, they the major major theaters, and those are usually Broadway people as well. And then towards getting, you know, there are different levels of tours, there are non-union tours, which means that nobody’s in the actors union, which probably means they’re getting paid like $1 so there are all different levels and it’s you know, the size of the theater that you travel to is a major factor. There are tours traveling to the big houses and then there are tours traveling to small houses and then there’s tours, the travel to churches, you know, there’s all different sizes.

Kendra
I mean, is that something that interests you? It sounds really cool, but I would imagine a ton of travel like what are you looking for to do? What are you looking forward to doing that?

Unknown Speaker
That is the question heard round the world Kendra. Aye. Aye. Aye. battle with that decision a lot. It used to be my dream to do a tour and to see the world. Right, it seems Absolutely. But you’re also living in hotels and living out of suitcases and away from your family and I ran away from my students. So my deciding factor is, I audition for tours that give me a livable wage. I am at the age that I am cannot afford to go for, you know, the $300 a week tours. What might you know, I bet I can’t pay my bills and be a responsible adult. So I’ve gotten very picky about what work I’ll do with tours. The cool thing about Long Island theater is that I get to do shows and teach my students and see my family. I never expected that my teaching would become as important to me as my performing but it has I, I have developed because I’m teaching one-on-one I have developed a bond with my kids that leaving them for a couple of months at a time. I don’t want to do it anymore. They’re too important to me and they’re their momentum and their consistency is too important to me. So I’ve, huh. So that’s the answer to your question. I have no idea. I just keep on letting the universe show me the way. I’ve been auditioning for fulfillment Brady now. That’s kind of my new obsession. I’ve gotten to do a couple of films and a little bit of extra work on TV and kind of find in that fun, so that might be my new adventure.

Kendra
That’s really cool. I always think it’s really interesting to see where people end up and the things that surprised you along the way. Like I know for myself, I grew up thinking I wanted to work in New York City. And then when I got there and had that opportunity, I was like, I hate this. And I was shocked. It sounds like you’ve had a similar type of experience where, you know, I don’t think we always end up where we think we’re going to, but we love what we’ve created.

Tracy
Well, I Yes, absolutely. I had a nine to five job at one point about, I guess, six or eight years ago, living in the city had and just said, You know what, auditioning is hard. I can’t do this anymore. I’m not making any money. I just need to get a nine to five job, pay my bills, and do this for real, like, be a big girl. And so I got that job, made all the money and I was miserable. I couldn’t work. I couldn’t find myself anymore. I couldn’t. I couldn’t look at myself in the mirror anymore. I just money. didn’t do it. And so I actually moved out to Long Island, rebuilt my life, and designed my life on purpose with jobs that I love. Now I have maybe like seven jobs right now. I love every single one of them I do. I do shows, I am a church singer, I teach piano and voice lessons. I am a princess at birthday parties. I, I am what’s called a standardized patient, which is the actor that goes in with, you know, all the diseases for the medical students, and they get to work on their communication and diagnosis. I have what they’re all acting based jobs, creative jobs. My life is crazy, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Kendra
No, I think that’s amazing. And I think that’s the place where people usually end up and not a lot of people really put that out there. Like, especially when you’re young and you’re a student or you’re looking at a career choice. And it looks like oh, well this is the way to do that. Here’s the roadmap that everyone’s taken. Like no about 98% of the people don’t end up going down that road and they have a life that they adore and love. But it looks so much different than what you might have thought it was going to look. But I think what you said about designing your career is so on point because it really can be whatever you want it to be. And you can still be successful and make money and support yourself. But also following your heart and what you’re passionate about. I just love that. That’s what these conversations are. I am so proud of the life that I have made for myself. I actually now am making more money than I was in a job where I was miserable.

Tracy
But and it’s doing what I love. And I think it’s really hard for when people, students are trying to figure out what college they’re going to they’re, there’s so much pressure for them to know what they’re going to be and know what their life is going to be. I had no idea who I even was when I was 18. I, I knew that my heart had music in it. That’s what I knew. But I had no idea how I was supposed to fit in the world. And I don’t think you should know at that point, I think you should let your life be a journey. The people that say, you know, we stayed at one job for 30 years. And that’s it. We don’t live like that anymore.

Kendra
I think that our generation is the beginning of this more organic way to craft a career and live your life. I think the kids that are coming up now and the next generation after that are, they have such an amazing opportunity to really do what they love, and still be wildly successful, where I think our generation had the friction of our parents generation who was like, You can’t do that because you’re not going to be sustained. You’re not gonna have a sustainable life, you’re not gonna be able to support yourself. But meanwhile, we all have.

Unknown Speaker
I think you’re absolutely right. I hope to God above that. The students that I’m teaching now have the freedom to have the life that they want. And if they discover that it’s not the life that they want, they figure out how to make it so. And I do know that I had pressure in my life to follow that one career. And I, I fought it. And I’m so glad that I did. And I now know that the people who fought me now can say, Wait a second. You were right. You did figure it out. I wake up every morning, excited to do my job, whichever job I’m doing that day. I love it.

Kendra
Yeah, that’s what it’s all about.

Tracy
Yeah, honestly, it’s so much more important to have your soul fulfilled than your bank account. Yes, you need me to pay bills and all of that. But if you are not living a life that is making your soul happy, you’re gonna have those. It’s gonna affect your life in other ways. You’re Gonna have medical problems or you’re going to be depressed or unhappy anxiety, it’s going to manifest in a way that makes your life not worth all the money you have anyway.

Kendra
Right? Yeah. I’m sure people who had told you not to go down one road or another, we’re coming from a place of love for the most part, and I think probably a place of fear. But, um, yeah, I just think it’s so cool to watch people who have become successful in doing something they absolutely love. And it’s not necessarily you know, what you would expect? It’s,

Tracy
yeah, I mean, my brother had a similar path as well, he’s a beverage manager for a high-end Country Club. Right now. He went to school for education, but decided he really loved playing golf and the golf job that he had got him into the restaurant business which got him into the country club business which he is more successful than any of us do. In what he absolutely loves, and it’s because he played a lot of golf because that’s where his heart was. Yeah, it’s just I’m really proud of my brother and me for taking the steps to create, like lives and jobs that we absolutely love.

Kendra
Right. And I’m, you know, I think it takes a lot of courage to kind of follow a path you’re unsure of. But I also think like, You’re a very strong person and would never let yourself fail. So one way or another, you’re going to make it work.

Tracy
I’ve become strong because of the choices I’ve made. I haven’t always been the strongest person in the world, but because of the journey I’ve been on, and the hardships that I’ve seen and the rehearsal — I mean, the audition process alone can make anybody a stronger person. But I’ve let that all of that teach me and I’ve let myself be vulnerable enough To learn from the experiences where something doesn’t work or something doesn’t go the way I thought it was, okay, well, how can I make this better? Because it’s been an organic journey. I, I’ve stayed true to myself. And I feel like I’m more authentic each day that goes by.

Kendra
Yeah, that’s another and this will be my, my, I could talk for hours, but I think that’s an interesting concept to like, you know, you and I are about the same age and I find that in my 40s I feel very confident in all my experiences. So now I take more risk because I feel like I have all this stuff underneath me to know that like, okay, that made me this type of gave me this type of strength. And that’s sort of so I know, I can rely on myself. I mean, Do you feel the same way that now that you’re a little bit older? You know, looking back, of course, it’s so scary and when you’re a teenager or early 20s like life is just but now being older How do you feel like that’s affected the choices you make and your career now

Tracy
I would not trade and be any other age than I am for millions of dollars. I love the age that I am. I’m 43 It’s been my actually 43 has been my favorite number for my whole life. And I feel like it has been because when I turned 43 this year, I felt like I finally knew who I was like I hit him kind of a rock bottom. At the end of last year, I went through a really really rough time, and I rebuilt myself bigger and stronger than I ever have been in my life. I never want to go back and I Every experience that I’ve had, that has been tough and I’ve had, I’ve had some pretty crazy rock bottoms. I wouldn’t trade it for the world because of what I’ve learned and how strong I’ve become. And you’re absolutely right when you say I’m more daring to take a risk, because I know I’ll be okay. I know I can back from Ryan anything because I have and I’ve done it better right every time.

Kendra
Yeah, I get that.

This has been so awesome. Thank you so much for doing this episode. And I’m glad you’re safe with your parents and enjoying as much as you can.

Tracy
Oh my goodness, Kendra, I am so thankful that you asked me to do this. I am just floored that I was the person you wanted to talk to. I think it’s wonderful. And I think this is an amazing thing that you’re putting out into the universe. I’m so proud to know you.

Kendra
I just think these conversations are really fascinating. So it’s completely self-serving. I just talking to people like dissecting their process and we didn’t even talk about inspiration or practice or anything we could totally do another episode.

Tracy
Let me name the day and the time and I will be there because I love talking to you. I was this was I could do this all day.